houseelves pie and much more
by lyricsandlies
Summary: The insane ramblings of a teenage nut or so tate says I should really sue that girl getting back to the point my little cheerios if anyones reading this then good luck and I salute you god speed and all that for this is my diary erm journal even


entry 1

Well this is fun what am I supposed to say to a book? Howdy ho somehow i don't quite think so. Let me explain if anyone is unfortunate enough to come across this. There I was innocently sitting there when our psychopathic neighbour from next door decided to spy on us. My mother being the poor naive soul that she is invited her in and sat there listening to 10 pages worth of drabble about her equally annoying daughter. Then what do you know she seen me and bang thought lets make out she's some head case who needs and I quote 'an outlet for her pent up emotions' then she insults me even further by adding in the fact about my lack of friends, me being the angel that I am didn't comment, though if it weren't for the fact that she's a muggle and id be expelled I would have cursed her with boils and then who would be the one without friends. Me I think not. My mother so easily fooled by her being a psychologist thought lets go along with the most retarded idea ever. Anywho rant over as my mother is being brainwashed she decided to curse I mean enchant this so I'm forced to write in it the joy. Note the sarcasm.

I may as well begin to introduce myself whilst im waiting for dear old Tate to get her derriere on this train. First of my name is Adhara Williams, laugh at my name and I will curse you. My mother's a cook and part time meddler. My dear old dad does something or other in the ministry and is a part time weirdo bless him. Ive been told I take after him which is a lie im as sane as a sane person in a sane factory can get. Moving swiftly on I have a younger brother annoying as hell but love him all the same. I can't forget the lovely family dog Larry hyper and humps anything within a hundred mile radius. Well that's my lovely family as you can see I wouldn't quite call us a regular cereal box one. Next on to my lovely array of friends Tate, Tate and Tate. I give Mrs Harris some credit im pretty antisocial sue me. What can I say about dear old Tate apart from the fact that she's a regular class A randomer and pretty to match. That is all there really is to say about my life basically. Me being the nosy cow that I really am will be back shortly all this banging is doing my head in hhm detective Williams it could work?

entry 2

Now im back and alive barely. If it's possible I think I died from embarrassment and was bought back to life by a sex god and when I say sex god I mean phwoar fittie and a half. The one and only Remus Lupin yes if your reading this and know who he is then youd know exactly how I'm feeling right now. I need to backtrack and explain from the beginning what the fates cursed me with. There I was innocently going to shout at who ever was making all that bloody noise. So I walked into the compartment and sort of gaped at the hotties of Hogwarts more on them later. So there I am mouth open and closing reminiscent of gurgle the fish I was owned and killed purely an accident no one ever told me that fishes wouldn't like to have a go in the washing machine. Back to the point there all looking at me like I'm going to pull out an axe and slash their throats and then Remus being a gentlemen asks me if something's wrong and then me having such a way with words come out 'can I have your babies?' then realizing that Ive just practically committed suicide I ran towards the door only me suddenly having the sight of a bat don't notice that the compartment door shut after me. So I smack head first in to the door by this point James Potter and Sirius Black are pissing themselves with laughter. Eventually I manage to get out of there and back into the safety of my compartment. Tate finally arrived and I explained the torture I just went through her being her lovely considerate self laughed and fell of the seat. I'm seriously considering eloping to China where I'll eat rice all day and not get laughed at by my so called best friend. Hmmmph.

**Hahaha come on you can't stay mad at me forever you know you love me way too much mon amie**

Hey get out of my diary I mean erm book

**I'm shocked and appalled you've gone over to the fluffy pink side**

I haven't Ive just erm momentarily misplaced my sanity

**Come back to the dark side we have cookies and Remus Lupins**

Wait how did you? I don't why

**Honestly Adhara love from what Ive read and heard about you've got the hotts for Remus lupin resident bookworm and prankster**

I...I do not you you Sirius Black lover'

**I'm not ashamed to admit it he is one sexilicious Adonis lookalike**

Well you have a... a spot mwwuaha

**Our relationship is over how dare you bring up Frederick the third**

Awww come on buddie ole pal I'll give you chocolate frogs and sherbert

**...**

And Sirius Black?

**Deal**

Wow I never knew it could be so easy

**I'm cool that way**

If you say so m'dear

**I do say so as I'm a descendant of the queen we eat scones and sip tea all day sooo nah nah nah nuh**

Real mature

**I do try**

Now that I finally have you back not that you're real or anything oh god why am I referring to you in first person I really have become a nut. One way ticket to Azkaban for me then. Wait can you go to Azkaban for being a loony? Looks like another case for detective Williams this time minus the whole make a fool of yourself in front on your resident crush and his gorgey mates. I'm going to go and get changed hopefully I won't succeed in twatifying myself any further.

On the Brightside I didn't do anything too embarrassing on the not so good side Ive made a lifelong enemy for sure. The one and only Lucius Malfoy or Lucy as I like to fondly call him. Happily albeit paranoid I made my way down to the toilets me having the luck of a pigeon I tripped and my wand went flying hit the floor let off a spell that just so happened to aim at Malfoy next thing you know hes parading around the train in high heels and spandex not a pretty sight I can assure you. Finally thinking luck was with me I grabbed my wand but he obviously noticed the stares and laughter, plus Im pretty sure he noticed he suddenly grew taller, turned back round and seen me wand in hand 

looking guilty as hell. So there I am trying to fight back the laughter, but it was too overwhelming him in heels trying and failing to storm over to me, so Im laughing my ass of him shouting mudblood and lines along that line at me. People have come out to investigate and lo and behold this is what they come across. Obviously they join in laughing which doesn't bode well for me as he is looking more and more murderous by the second. Eventually he pulls out his wand from god knows where and aims a curse at me so I did the sensible thing ducked and ran like hell. Forgetting all about getting changed I made my way back to the compartment trying to grab the attention of Tate who was enthralled in a magazine. finally I get the story out after looking worried for a split second she joins me in having a laughing fit. I really should get changed you know but I don't quite want to get slaughtered to death before I get to Hogwarts. I'll risk getting changed in here I mean Tate can be my eyes and ears and if anyone does come Ill worry about that then. I'll be back that's if I don't fall out of the window and get eaten by rabid Scottish sheep, au revoir

entry 3

I suppose I should have updated earlier but I was caught up in mayhem courtesy of Tate and I'm shattered so I'll talk more about the whole detention, turning up late, food fight sage tomorrow goodnight sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite

Ps do books even sleep?


End file.
